I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
