if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
third nipple confirmed
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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