Porn is love you can see.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
