apparently the secret to your success is patron
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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