Your dad touched me again.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
