Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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