she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
