I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
