Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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