No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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