yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Someone came in the potted fern
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
