**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
