yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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