there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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