So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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