Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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