Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
