I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
