Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.

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(303): View more from Colorado

We took shots in honor of Shark Week.

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(561): View more from Florida

george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas

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(651): View more from Minnesota

If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.

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(360): View more from Washington

He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.

(503): View more from Oregon

Now THAT is dedication!

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