she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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