Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
