4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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