you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize
