i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
