I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize