Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
