Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
