Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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