I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
