The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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