Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I want a musical about memes.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
