Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Pants are for mortals
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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