this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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