Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
