Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
