Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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