are you still at the devil's house?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
