I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
