69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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