i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
