So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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