i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
