we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
