He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize