you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
