Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
