Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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