Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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