Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She said her name was "party"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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