Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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