I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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