it wasn't lemon gatorade
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
