I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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