Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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