He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
