Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
