Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
