I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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